12/10/2018

Once again house to myself, wife out shopping and oldest step-daughter working.
Got to thinking this morning when I pleasure myself I don't shoot a stream of cum it is more like a drip or two.  The more I think about it the more I realize I am a sissy who can't admit to himself what he really is.
I should end this marriage and become the sissy who he is meant to be.  But that is also hard to do, to admit failure.

12/9/2018

Have the house to myself, two young twin step-daughters are with their dad.  My wife and oldest step-daughter are out shopping for the day.
I have laundry to do but before I do it , I believe I will lose some body hair I would love to use chemical remover but the odor lingoes around too long.  I will have to shave it then apply some baby lotion on.
First of year I am going to do my best to get some panties, bras and pantyhose to wear under my drab attire.

11/302018

I still think about being a woman or dressing as one, I would be in heaven if my oldest step-daughter and her mother would apply nail polish to my toenails, take me to a beauty salon to have my hair styled and perm in a woman's style.  To be taken to a nail salon and have a manicure done, then out shopping for feminine attire.
Some would say I need to talk to my wife about this, it is one of those relationships where don't say nothing or else the whole world as I know it will come crashing down.  I might live but is it really worth it?

11/20/2018

I have been getting the silent treatment for the last week, I believe by first of year if not sooner I may be divorced once again.  This time it won't be for my cross dressing it will be because we just don't get along, she likes spending way to much money that she doesn't have and thinks I should buy her a new vehicle that I can't afford.  Plus she has twins eleven year old girls that don't do no chores and if you ask them do something all hell breaks lose.
I have made my mind up when I do get  divorce I will live most of my time as a woman.  I will keep a couple of pairs of work clothes, in case I get a call to go back to work in the spring.  Otherwise everything will be women's attire that will be in my dresser and closet.  I am planning on having more women's attire,shoes boots and coats then I ever had before. From the time I go to bed at night wearing a sleeping grown to when I get up in the morning donning a bra and dressing as a woman.  I will start going out shopping as a woman and socializing as a woman.

11/14/2018

I don't blame her directly or indirectly, the blame falls on me and me alone. I have never been honest with myself like many others my age we grew up in a time when it was taboo, that if you cress-dress you must be gay. It is hard to get over those feelings that it is something you just enjoy doing. I remember my older sister thinking she caught me dressed completely as a woman one evening when our parents went on a vacation that she agreed to come by and check on me even though I was of age and working full time. When I answered the door she turned around and left but came back by thirty minutes later. She came in and asked if I wanted to talk, when I said can we have a woman to woman talk she said we can never have a woman to woman talk we can have a woman to whatever talk. In her mind I was sick in the head and needed professional help. All that processional wanted to know if I had a boyfriend that I dressed for. No I don't blame anyone but myself. Should have kept looking for that right fit of a woman who wouldn't mind having a part-time woman living with her.

5/12/2018/extra

If I wasn't married I would be dressed as a woman right now and would have been for the last year.  I would still have all of my woman's attire and makeup.
I might even be out shopping right now as a woman, I do know I would have been out socializing as a woman in the evenings and on the weekends.
I would have had a woman's swimsuit last year to lay out in.  My hair would be down to my shoulder and I would have kept it in a pony tail during the week.
I would have been getting a pedicure, manicure at least once a month, would had my ears pierced at least once.
Most of my attire would be feminine, I would have several purses and woman's billfolds.  A separate room for all feminine items and woman's jewelry.  No telling how many woman's shoes I would have.
I would even wear some woman's clothes when I see my woman doctor for high blood pressure. When she would have me take deep breaths to check my lungs she would feel my bra straps.  Then when she checks for swollen ankles she would feel my nylons.  She might even prescribe some female hormones.
Who knows what may have happen if I wasn't married.

5-12-2018

Haven't had anymore crazy dreams, but still long for panties and a bra.  I would like to use hair remover all over my body and to start applying nail polish to my toenails.  I would also like to start taking enemas again using feminine douche. Also start back up using feminine hygiene products, spraying perfume on my body.
I wouldn't mind using some makeup, especially lipstick and mascara.  I wouldn't mind getting my ears pierced and change out my wedding band for a stone wedding ring.
Since I started a new job and I like it, may see about a post office box and get a few things.