12/11/2018

I keep having this dream of being completely dressed as a woman working at the kitchen counter when a man comes up behind behind me and starts to caressing my breasts and kissing the back of my neck.  He then whispers in my ear  and tells me what he wants to do to me. Once my nipples gets hard I lean back into him and he raises my skirt or dress as I bend over the counter, he then pulls down my pantyhose and panties.  Lubes up my love hole and sticks his member into me and gives me the screwing I deserve.  I feel his cum inside of me, once he goes limp he then pulls out of me as I get some paper towels to put in my panties to keep his cum from leaking all over me.  I then pull up my panties and pantyhose and finish what I was doing.  That evening I take a shower or bath before going to bed as he takes one also and we continue our love making in the bedroom where I start with sucking and licking on his member then he takes me missionary style and fills me up again.  From then on I only wear open bottom all in ones with stockings attached to a garter strap.  Along with dresses and or skirts.

12/10/2018

Once again house to myself, wife out shopping and oldest step-daughter working.
Got to thinking this morning when I pleasure myself I don't shoot a stream of cum it is more like a drip or two.  The more I think about it the more I realize I am a sissy who can't admit to himself what he really is.
I should end this marriage and become the sissy who he is meant to be.  But that is also hard to do, to admit failure.

12/9/2018

Have the house to myself, two young twin step-daughters are with their dad.  My wife and oldest step-daughter are out shopping for the day.
I have laundry to do but before I do it , I believe I will lose some body hair I would love to use chemical remover but the odor lingoes around too long.  I will have to shave it then apply some baby lotion on.
First of year I am going to do my best to get some panties, bras and pantyhose to wear under my drab attire.

11/302018

I still think about being a woman or dressing as one, I would be in heaven if my oldest step-daughter and her mother would apply nail polish to my toenails, take me to a beauty salon to have my hair styled and perm in a woman's style.  To be taken to a nail salon and have a manicure done, then out shopping for feminine attire.
Some would say I need to talk to my wife about this, it is one of those relationships where don't say nothing or else the whole world as I know it will come crashing down.  I might live but is it really worth it?

11/20/2018

I have been getting the silent treatment for the last week, I believe by first of year if not sooner I may be divorced once again.  This time it won't be for my cross dressing it will be because we just don't get along, she likes spending way to much money that she doesn't have and thinks I should buy her a new vehicle that I can't afford.  Plus she has twins eleven year old girls that don't do no chores and if you ask them do something all hell breaks lose.
I have made my mind up when I do get  divorce I will live most of my time as a woman.  I will keep a couple of pairs of work clothes, in case I get a call to go back to work in the spring.  Otherwise everything will be women's attire that will be in my dresser and closet.  I am planning on having more women's attire,shoes boots and coats then I ever had before. From the time I go to bed at night wearing a sleeping grown to when I get up in the morning donning a bra and dressing as a woman.  I will start going out shopping as a woman and socializing as a woman.

11/14/2018

I don't blame her directly or indirectly, the blame falls on me and me alone. I have never been honest with myself like many others my age we grew up in a time when it was taboo, that if you cress-dress you must be gay. It is hard to get over those feelings that it is something you just enjoy doing. I remember my older sister thinking she caught me dressed completely as a woman one evening when our parents went on a vacation that she agreed to come by and check on me even though I was of age and working full time. When I answered the door she turned around and left but came back by thirty minutes later. She came in and asked if I wanted to talk, when I said can we have a woman to woman talk she said we can never have a woman to woman talk we can have a woman to whatever talk. In her mind I was sick in the head and needed professional help. All that processional wanted to know if I had a boyfriend that I dressed for. No I don't blame anyone but myself. Should have kept looking for that right fit of a woman who wouldn't mind having a part-time woman living with her.

5/12/2018/extra

If I wasn't married I would be dressed as a woman right now and would have been for the last year.  I would still have all of my woman's attire and makeup.
I might even be out shopping right now as a woman, I do know I would have been out socializing as a woman in the evenings and on the weekends.
I would have had a woman's swimsuit last year to lay out in.  My hair would be down to my shoulder and I would have kept it in a pony tail during the week.
I would have been getting a pedicure, manicure at least once a month, would had my ears pierced at least once.
Most of my attire would be feminine, I would have several purses and woman's billfolds.  A separate room for all feminine items and woman's jewelry.  No telling how many woman's shoes I would have.
I would even wear some woman's clothes when I see my woman doctor for high blood pressure. When she would have me take deep breaths to check my lungs she would feel my bra straps.  Then when she checks for swollen ankles she would feel my nylons.  She might even prescribe some female hormones.
Who knows what may have happen if I wasn't married.

5-12-2018

Haven't had anymore crazy dreams, but still long for panties and a bra.  I would like to use hair remover all over my body and to start applying nail polish to my toenails.  I would also like to start taking enemas again using feminine douche. Also start back up using feminine hygiene products, spraying perfume on my body.
I wouldn't mind using some makeup, especially lipstick and mascara.  I wouldn't mind getting my ears pierced and change out my wedding band for a stone wedding ring.
Since I started a new job and I like it, may see about a post office box and get a few things.

3-9-2018

Had another crazy dream last night, this one the current wife decide that it would be better if on the weekends if three women lived in the house instead of two women and one male.
She had me use hair remover all over my body, moisturize my body, out came a cock cage and I was put into it.  Next came a pair of panties, a bra, woman's top, my jeans but was told we would go shopping for woman's jeans (we as in my wife her oldest daughter and myself), then they applied makeup to my face and said you will get some of your own.  We then headed out to get a pedicure and a manicure on my toenails they gave me a dark color, on my fingernails a pale pink color.  Next they took me to get my ears pierced  and eyebrows thinned.
I was told from here on out on weekends and whenever they decide I am to dress as a woman including makeup and perfume and to behave as one.  My wife and I went shopping for some dildos two strap on dildos and one that I can use on her while licking on her lips.  One of the strap on dildo is for her to use on me and the other I am to use on her as I will have my cage on most of the time.  The few times she said she would let out is if I agree to wear a condom and slip on the strap on dildo in-case I shoot any cum I can shoot into the condom and she can feed it to me later.  I was told that this summer I would be wearing a woman's swim suit when our above ground pool is erected, during the week I would wear a  old tee shirt so that her 11-year old twins girls wouldn't see my tan lines.  My current wife told me once the twins are in their middle teens, then she will introduce them to the other woman in the house.   I am to keep myself hair free and to start growing my hair out and to use the proper shampoo and conditional on it.

3-8-2018

Have been having some crazy dreams here lately, the one last night has my ex-wife in it.  She came by, had me remove all body hair, use an enema, get dressed as a woman with makeup, wearing a woman's top and skirt with heels.  We went out shopping as two women, had our nails done my ears pierced and the next thing we are checking into a hotel as we both were getting hot over each other.  Once in the hotel room we help ourselves to some wine to ease into the mood.  There is a knock at the door the ex-wife opens the door and three men enter.  One man starts on my ex-wife kissing her and playing with breasts another man starts caressing my butt through the skirt and the other starts kissing me on the lips.  Next thing I know they have me bend over a chair one pushes up my skirt and pulls down my pantyhose and panties while the other has me sucking his cock, I feel some lube in my bio pussy and a couple of fingers going in.  The next thing I feel is his cock going in my bio pussy.  I happen to glance over and see my ex-wife getting the fucking of her life.  Then I feel cum shooting down my throat and cum shooting inside my bio pussy.  Both men are spent and the third came in my ex-wife's pussy.  The three men leave and I crawl over to lap the cream pie out of my ex-wife.  After that I woke up.

2-26-2018

Can't stop thinking about getting back into dressing as a woman, on Monday and Tuesday the wife leaves for work at 6:50am and doesn't get back home until around 8:00pm.  Stepdaughter leaves for work around 2:25pm and gets back home around 11:00pm, I also have two 11-yr old's stepdaughters, their dad has them back home no later than 6:00pm Monday thru Friday.   So on Mondays I would have about  hours 5-1/2 hours, Tuesday;s I would 2-1/2 hours, Wednesday thru Friday about 2-hours a day.  I would be able to wear panties 24/7 A bra just on the days I would have a couple of hours.  One day out of the week usually Sunday My wife and oldest stepdaughter likes to spend the day to themselves, they are gone for a good 12-hours,  I could dressed as a woman for most of that time and entertain myself.   For a few hours a day I would be able to wear some form of makeup and to keep nail polish on my toenails.  I would be able able to get my body hair free and to wear pantyhose over my panties and pair of heels.  Women's slacks and/or jeans along with a woman's top and be carrying a purse when I would go out.

02-15-2018

Went to Wal-Mart to buy men's underwear, couldn't believe the price they wanted for them.  Four pairs of bikini underwear for $19.99 guess it was good price but don't have a problem spending more then that for women's panties.  At least I enjoy wearing them.
Once I get my taxes done next week hopefully I can some, women's panties that is along with a bra.
My nipples have been staying erect ever since I shaved the chest hair off, I believe they are wanting a bra to encase and hold them.

0213-2018

I well be stripping down here shortly and will be trimming my body and pubic hair down to where I will be able to use shaving cream and a razor on both areas in the next day or so.
I may stop by a store in the next day or so and purchase some bikini or hipster panties, feminine douche and other feminine hygiene products.
I need to get back to wearing panties and using feminine hygiene products.
I always felt more at ease when I hairless, had a well lubricated tampon inside of me, panties on with a sanitary napkin in them.  It always felt right and natural to be that way.
When I wear panties I have to sit to take care business and it always felt right also. To change my sanitary napkin and tampon.
I always kept my face clean shaven everyday unlike now it isn't.  Always felt more at ease with myself and didn't worry what others thought.  Unlike now I worry what others think.
It already feels so much better using a electric razor for trimming sideburns; to removing the bulk of body hair and pubic hair.  Knowing in the next day or two I will be shaving it all off and will have to shave my body every other day or so to keep it off.
Should I ever get the chance to use hair remover lotion I will use that time wisely.

02-12-2018

Once taxes are done next week I will know when I can get a post office box and to start ordering some bra's and panties.
I am looking forward to wearing a bra and a panty again. 
My new wife and I have already sleep in separate beds so losing my body hair shouldn't be a problem.  The same can be said for wearing panties, bra might be a bit different at times but for the most part should be able to wear it also.  I will have to make sure I get the same sanitary napkins the step-daughter uses.  I will also make sure I get the same perfume they both use.
Another thing I need to do, I need to go shopping for a couple of dildos, one to use on myself and another one to use on my wife as I can't get hard anymore.  I do get hard just not a normal male does, I have to be dressed as a woman.  I would like to use it on her while I would be licking her juices and maybe I could get her to use a strap on dildo on me.
Later this week will invest in a women's razor to shave my body hair off, I would rather use hair remover lotion but it stinks for a couple of days and I can't have that.
I will also be doing my thing here in an hour or so and will lick it out of my hand, love tasting my own cum.

02-07-2018

What I could really use about now would be permission by the wife and step-daughter  to get as feminine as I could become by myself.
First off I would apply nail polish to my toenails,second  have a couple of bottle of hair remover lotion, once they would spread all over my body and have waited about ten minutes or less.  Rinsed it all off, apply scented body all over my body.  Next I would take an feminine douche as an enema  and insert a super plus tampon to help hold it in., While I would waiting on the douche to do it magic I would go ahead and spray perfume on, don a bra and glued on my silicone breast and start on my foundation.  Once I was flushed out I would use a vibrating dildo on myself and after multiple orgasms I would go ahead and stick another well lubricated tampon back inside if me, don panties with a sanitary napkin in them.  Don pantyhose and heels along with a control brief and finish applying my makeup.
Then it would be whatever my wife and step-daughter wanted me to wear.  Allowed them to style my hair, be taken out to have a manicure done then off to have my ears pierced and then some more shopping for women's attire.
To be able to dress and live as a woman when it is the three of us.

02-04-2018

Here in a little while I will be able to masturbate once again, I haven't been able to do it for a couple of weeks.  I have been looking forward to cumming in my hand and eating it.  To savor the taste of my own cum.
I need to get a good supply of razors to that I can shave off some unwanted body hair.  I will need to shave it all off and every time when I take a shower to keep shaving it off.  I also need to get some hair dye as I have been letting it grow out, I will see how long I can go before the spouse says something about getting it cut.  I really don't think she will say anything about it getting long.
My spouse started a new job today, she will be working about five day a week and be gone about 8 to 10 hours a day.  Once I find some extra money that Post Office box will become a reality along with some bra's and panties to start with.  Then onto feminine hygiene products and vibrating dildo.
I will have to take baby steps but I will get back to where I was in time.

01-25-2018

In the next few months if I can find the money, I am going to get a post office box and place an order for some bras and panties.
I also want to remove some body hair before summer gets here mainly chest, pubic area and under arms.
May start using feminine douche again as an enema and using a slender vibrating dildo on myself again.  I will have to get the same perfume the wife and step-daughter uses.

01/23/2018

Got to thinking about what I was willing to do three years ago, I was communicating with another cross-dresser on a an adult site.  I was willing to give my life as a heterosexual male to become this cross-dresser's lover and be a full time cross-dresser myself.
Either this certain person was playing me or had seconds thoughts about it because a week or so later I got the brush off.  I was more than willing to pack my things and move in with this person to become his/her toy.  To give up my life and other hobbies to live and be somebody's love toy.
I would probably still be dressing if it wasn't for me passing out falling and dislocating my shoulder back in 2016.  I went through two surgeries to repair torn liniments and still don't have full use of my left arm and shoulder.
About all I can think about the good times I had cross-dressing and masturbate to that.

01-20-2018

I haven't been able to to do my usual thing this week due to snow days for the kids, just as soon as I can do it I am going to lick my cum out of my hand.
I am also thinking of shaving my body hair off or at least thinning it out, going to try and let my hair grow out more.
Still want to invest in some feminine lingerie and feminine hygiene necessaries.
I may start using feminine soap and feminine shampoo products.
The only thing I have to lose at this time would be my pride and self respect if found out.  On the other side I would be free to live and dress the way I would want.

01/11/2018

Here in a bit will starting my afternoon ritual, this time I need to drink it down or lick it out of my hand.  I need to taste my cum and savor it, it has been a while.
Still thinking about the post office box and some women's lingerie,  I know for a fact it won't stop at lingerie, it will move on toward woman's tops, jeans and/or slacks, skirts and dresses, shoes and purses, makeup and jewelry and on to a hairless body, nail polish on toenails and douching and inserting either tampon or a vibrating dildo into my bio pussy.
It all would be better if the wife and step-daughter came up with the idea.   Then they could take me out shopping or to the beauty or nail salon with them and treat me as a woman 24/7/365.

01/02/2018

For some reason got to thinking about the first woman I met after my divorce twenty-five plus years ago.
Often wonder what would have happened if I kept the friendship up, as I had told her why I was divorce.  She didn't approve of what I had like to do but was willing to be friends.  At the time I wanted more than just friends, had to prove that I was a male with needs.  Now looking back should have fess up to myself and admit what I was.  My life might have been different then what it is now.  Might be living as a woman now or a cross-dressing male.  Either way I would be dressed as a woman 24/7/365 a year and would be out to everyone that I knew at the time.

01/02/2018

I have decided that today I will measure myself to check my band size and cup size or desire cup size.  I will also take a measurement to determine my panty size.
I may get the excersize equipment out of the garage and put it down in the basement.
I have read a couple articles on how to increase my breast size naturally, may give it a try.  Worst can happen they actually grow in size.