12/29/2017

Is it wrong for a cross-dresser to dressed as a woman and only be interested in woman?  I think not but so many women think that isn't true.  I have to admit there were times when I thought about a man taking my virgin hole but I think I could be with the right woman that would use a strap on dildo on me and I would be just fine with it.  Although the thought of having someone shooting their cum inside of me turns me on and having to put something inside of me to plug it up to keep from leaking cum.  To have that walk of shame.
Have been looking at bra's on line, may have to get a post office box so that I can have a place to send my purchases to.  As the size I need can only be brought on line.
Here in a bit I will be able to masturbate to wearing a bra, panties and using a vibrating dildo on myself.  When or if I get a post office box I will also order pantyhose.
I know I shouldn't be thinking of doing it as it will leave to further purchases and will eventually be found out.  Just wish it could be her in the wife that would come up with idea of feminizing me.  Oh well the only thing that would happen is everybody I know finding out that I cross-dress as a woman.

12/26/2017

Here it is a day after Christmas and still can't stop thinking of the dream I had a couple of weeks ago.  I would be a lot happier if the wife could understand how much hornier I would be if I could wear panties, a bra and be hairless.  If I could be dressed as a woman around her and her oldest daughter to be able to go with them to have our nails done and to go out shopping as three women.  Just to be able to be another woman in the household.  All of us using makeup and spraying perfume on with all traces of man gone out of the house.  Three purses laying around, with mother and I having a lesbian relationship.Taking turns using a strap on dildo on each other  To go out shopping for dildos.
It is almost midnight and I am thinking next month I am going to buy myself some panties to wear and maybe a bra when the women of the house aren't home Might as well buy some pantyhose as well.  I might see about a dildo or two to use on myself when they aren't home also.

12/18/2017

I had a crazy dream this morning, that a man either my wife brought home or the step daughter did.  After having sex with them he came to me and told me I needed to have lipstick on my lips which they being my wife and step daughter were more then happy to applied it on my lips.  Next I was to clean his cock off with my wife on one nipple and step daughter on the other.  Once he was clean off, he said the next time he comes by that I have better be dressed as a woman as to which the two women said I would be.  He did come back a few days later and I was dressed as a woman, after servicing the two females he said it was now my turn .  He wanted to bend me over a chair but I asked if he could take me missionary style instead.  He said he now has three women in his stable and I am to stay dressed as a woman 24/7/365 a year no matter what.  It was at that time I woke up.

12/14/2017

Getting to be that time of day again, here in about thirty minutes I will be back on my bed thinking about that dildo inside of me and getting fully dressed as a woman the way I used to do.  To lunge around dressed as a woman doing my house hold chores as a woman, going to the grocery store under-dressed as a woman.  Although I kept telling myself that one day I was going there completely dressed as a woman but never did.  Often thought of going to the doctor under-dressed as a woman also, as the doctor or nurse practitioner would always check my ankles for swelling.  Thinking of the look on her face if she felt the nylons I would  have on, or the bra I would have on under a top.  Never did but often think about it.

12/12/2017

Every afternoon about this time I have a few hours to myself, it's then that I get to thinking about what I used to do and enjoyed doing.
Just couldn't seem to lose the weight that I wanted to get down to the size I would have liked to be..  So I like to think I gave it up or to put it back on hold for a while.
Anyway I get to thinking back then when I would lose body hair, use a feminine douche as an enema, lay on my bed and insert a well-lubricated  vibrating dildo into my bio pussy and I would play with my nipples through my bra and have many organism.  Then I would insert a well-lubricated tampon back into my bio pussy, spray perfume on, don panties, pantyhose, heels and get fully dressed as a woman.  Only problem I was always afraid to leave and go out shopping as the woman I felt I was.

12/11/2017

Home alone this afternoon, my body hair has grown back and is in need of thinning out.  Probably shoundn't do it but I am going to do it anyway.  Even looked at panties the other day, probably shouldn't buy them but will.
I will have to have talk with wife number two and see if something can't be worked out, yes I know should had the talk first before saying I do.

11/25/2017

With it being this time of year wife and her oldest daughter like to go out shopping, if asked I would love to go with them.  I get to thinking about what if; I probably still be a closet cross-dresser and would still wear feminine attire under drab attire.  I think the only way I would go out out in full feminine attire would have been if I moved away to a new location.
Still think about it often and have at times wish I was still single to where I could do it.  Still wonder if there would have been someone out there who wouldn't mind me being a part-time woman.

11/24/2017

Seen an old friend yesterday and realize if I was still seeing her I would be hairless, would had nail polish on my toenails, possibly a well lubricated tampon in my bio pussy, perfume sprayed on, panties on with a sanitary napkin in them more then likely pantyhose on under my drab attire.  Not that she approved of my prefer attire, but the only way I felt like being around her.  Would be for me to be under-dressed as a woman.
I would have came back home and masturbated as a woman, then would have gotten fully dressed as a woman and spent the evening as one.
This morning I would have gotten up and douched then got fully dressed as a woman and may have gone out shopping as one.

11/11/2017

I still wonder what it would be like to suck a real man off and still wonder what it would have been like to go out shopping dressed as a woman and to socialize as a woman.
I have been thinking about last year about this time of year.  What or how I would have been dressed, how I would have a hairless body from my eyebrows on down.  What color nail polish would I have on my toenails.  How long I would have a tampon inside of myself or a small vibrating dildo inside of me.  Wearing of a bra and panties with pantyhose.
I have condition myself for the last twelve years or more that the only way I can have an organism is by having a vibrating dildo in my bio pussy and or by wearing a bra and playing with my nipples through it.  Also if I am fully dressed as a woman by rubbing between my legs.  Otherwise I am out of luck when it comes to being a man and trying to have an organism.

11/07/2017

Haven't been dressed as a woman for the last nine months, plus I went and got married to an old friend.  Here lately I have been thinking about the good times I have had while dressing as a woman.  In one way I long for it and in another I'm glad I don't do it any more.  It would nice to be able to visit it once in a while.  To be able to go out once in a while dressed as a woman. I don't think the current wife would appreciate it.

2/5/2017

I just ordered myself a cock cage from Amazon I also placed an order from Lane Bryant for a one piece swim suit and a wrist bracelet.   This year I am wanting and I am going to lay out in the sun for a tan while wearing the woman's one piece swim suit.  I have been going to a woman doctor for the past year for high blood pressure.  I am wanting to start being more feminine in appearance when I see her that is why I brought the wrist bracelet, I have been letting my hair grow out, trying to lose some weight.  I have seen a pair of woman's flat shoes that I am interested in getting once I get them I will be wearing them quite often along with woman's slacks/jeans on my nylon covered legs.  I also need to get a manicure with nail extensions.
I also want to start going out completely dressed as a woman this year to shop and to socialize  It would be nice if I could find somebody to take my virgin bio pussy and to suck a real man..

1/18/2017

I had the urge to get dressed as a woman today.  I am sitting typing this out fully dressed as a woman with slacks and a pull over top with my heels on and full makeup on.  As much as I hate wearing slacks it stills feels wonderful being dressed as a woman.  Now if I could just be seen by a hot looking woman, mainly one of my neighbors it would send me over the moon so to speak.  More so if she would actually say something to me as my feminine self.

1/15/2017

So for the last week or so when I get up I spray some perfume on, put on a bra with my silicone breast in it, change my sanitary napkin in my panties and go about my morning.  It feels so wonderful wearing a bra with fake titties and I stay horny all morning it not all day.  I need to do some laundry today and need to wash my bra's and panties.  Hopefully one day this week I will be going out again dressed as a woman to do some shopping.  I would like to go to Macy's and shop for some panties or just out window shopping.  I do need some woman's flat shoes, athletic shoes and lower heel shoes.  I would like to purchase some excising clothes for a woman so I can start excising.  I do know I will need a sports bra.

1-13-2017

I started early this morning taking a shower using scent body wash, using a feminine douche as an enema and inserting a super plus tampon in to help hold the liquid in.  Once flushed out so to speak I re-inserted a well lubricated super plus tampon back in.  Sprayed on perfume , panties with a sanitary napkin, bra with my silicone breast glued on.  Next came black pantyhose with a control brief, black heels and a nylon robe.  I the started on my makeup and for once got the eyeliner right once I was satisfied with my makeup I then had to decide what to wear.  I went with skinny jeans and a pull over top, next came a wig and earrings.  I loaded my woman's billfold up and stuck in my purse.  Before I could walk out the door my hot looking married neighbor left, I had wanted her to see me as a woman ready to go out shopping.  Instead I went and masturbated, strip everything off washed the makeup off.  Now I am wanting to get dressed again.

1/10/2017

Today I decided that whenever I am home I will wear a bra as I wear panties 24/7 anyway.  So this morning after putting on a bra I slipped my breast inserts into it got dressed as my drab self and went outside to do some chores.  It felt wonderful, now I need to take a shower and of course I will be using some feminine body wash.  I will spray myself with perfume, don panties with a sanitary napkin and put on another bra without my inserts as I need to go to a couple of stores today as my drab self.
Friday morning I will be going out again dressed as a woman as I want to go to a store and purchase a vibrating dildo, a regular dildo and some butt plugs.
Come Saturday if I don't go somewhere with a friend I will be going out as a woman to a support group.

1/9/2017

I needed a couple of things from the grocery store but before leaving I removed body hair that grown back.  I also used a feminine douche as an enema and inserted a super plus tampon to help hold it in.  Once flushed out I re-inserted a well lubricated regular flow tampon.  I then sprayed perfume on don panties with a sanitary napkin in them, coffee color pantyhose and a control brief, black heels.  Next was a black bra and my silicone breast which I glued on.  I started with my foundation, then face powder, eye shadow, mascara and eyeliner.  I then got a new woman's slacks and a new sweater top. A wig and earrings then I had to decide what coat I would wear decided on long wool woman's coat.  Once outside I decided to wear a drab coat, ball cap, men's flat shoes that could pass for woman,s.  I drove to the store like that, got a couple of things.  I then stop at a park changed my coat for the woman's, put a wig on and brushed it out, applied blush, lip gloss, added my earrings and changed into my heels.  I drove home as a woman and it felt frantic and wonderful.  I was hoping the woman across the road was home as I wanted her to see me but she wasn't.
In the coming new year she won't be the only one that sees me I'm sure another neighbor or more will see me dressed as a woman.  My goal for 2017 is to let my hair grow out, get my ears pierced, hair colored, styled and a manicure all done at a beauty salon.  2017 in my getting out of the closet year.