1-24-2019

Here lately I have been dreaming of my step-daughter and her mother coming home from shopping where they give me a couple of bottles of hair remover and tell me to use it.  Once hair is gone they tell me to use some baby oil to smooth my body.  The next day they take me out to a nail salon where they talk me into having a manicure done. I soon relax and have eyes closed, they have talked with the woman doing the manicure to add nail extensions and to put a mauve color on my nails.  They tell me not to get over excited as it is a holiday weekend.  We then head to a mall in another town where I have my ears pierced, then they take into a department store and have me sized for a proper fitting bra and panties.  I also have to get a sleeping grown and a robe.  They also had me get some pantyhose, we then head to the woman's section where I am to get a pair of jeans and a top to go with it.  Once items are paid for they have me change into the things I have brought.  We then head to the shoe store where I am to buy a pair or two of woman's shoes, then off.   We then head off to another store to buy a winter coat, scarf and gloves along with a purse.  Lastly we make our way to a cosmetic store where I have a makeup artist work her magic on my face and buy the needed cosmetics.

12/11/2018

I keep having this dream of being completely dressed as a woman working at the kitchen counter when a man comes up behind behind me and starts to caressing my breasts and kissing the back of my neck.  He then whispers in my ear  and tells me what he wants to do to me. Once my nipples gets hard I lean back into him and he raises my skirt or dress as I bend over the counter, he then pulls down my pantyhose and panties.  Lubes up my love hole and sticks his member into me and gives me the screwing I deserve.  I feel his cum inside of me, once he goes limp he then pulls out of me as I get some paper towels to put in my panties to keep his cum from leaking all over me.  I then pull up my panties and pantyhose and finish what I was doing.  That evening I take a shower or bath before going to bed as he takes one also and we continue our love making in the bedroom where I start with sucking and licking on his member then he takes me missionary style and fills me up again.  From then on I only wear open bottom all in ones with stockings attached to a garter strap.  Along with dresses and or skirts.

12/10/2018

Once again house to myself, wife out shopping and oldest step-daughter working.
Got to thinking this morning when I pleasure myself I don't shoot a stream of cum it is more like a drip or two.  The more I think about it the more I realize I am a sissy who can't admit to himself what he really is.
I should end this marriage and become the sissy who he is meant to be.  But that is also hard to do, to admit failure.

12/9/2018

Have the house to myself, two young twin step-daughters are with their dad.  My wife and oldest step-daughter are out shopping for the day.
I have laundry to do but before I do it , I believe I will lose some body hair I would love to use chemical remover but the odor lingoes around too long.  I will have to shave it then apply some baby lotion on.
First of year I am going to do my best to get some panties, bras and pantyhose to wear under my drab attire.

11/302018

I still think about being a woman or dressing as one, I would be in heaven if my oldest step-daughter and her mother would apply nail polish to my toenails, take me to a beauty salon to have my hair styled and perm in a woman's style.  To be taken to a nail salon and have a manicure done, then out shopping for feminine attire.
Some would say I need to talk to my wife about this, it is one of those relationships where don't say nothing or else the whole world as I know it will come crashing down.  I might live but is it really worth it?

11/20/2018

I have been getting the silent treatment for the last week, I believe by first of year if not sooner I may be divorced once again.  This time it won't be for my cross dressing it will be because we just don't get along, she likes spending way to much money that she doesn't have and thinks I should buy her a new vehicle that I can't afford.  Plus she has twins eleven year old girls that don't do no chores and if you ask them do something all hell breaks lose.
I have made my mind up when I do get  divorce I will live most of my time as a woman.  I will keep a couple of pairs of work clothes, in case I get a call to go back to work in the spring.  Otherwise everything will be women's attire that will be in my dresser and closet.  I am planning on having more women's attire,shoes boots and coats then I ever had before. From the time I go to bed at night wearing a sleeping grown to when I get up in the morning donning a bra and dressing as a woman.  I will start going out shopping as a woman and socializing as a woman.

11/14/2018

I don't blame her directly or indirectly, the blame falls on me and me alone. I have never been honest with myself like many others my age we grew up in a time when it was taboo, that if you cress-dress you must be gay. It is hard to get over those feelings that it is something you just enjoy doing. I remember my older sister thinking she caught me dressed completely as a woman one evening when our parents went on a vacation that she agreed to come by and check on me even though I was of age and working full time. When I answered the door she turned around and left but came back by thirty minutes later. She came in and asked if I wanted to talk, when I said can we have a woman to woman talk she said we can never have a woman to woman talk we can have a woman to whatever talk. In her mind I was sick in the head and needed professional help. All that processional wanted to know if I had a boyfriend that I dressed for. No I don't blame anyone but myself. Should have kept looking for that right fit of a woman who wouldn't mind having a part-time woman living with her.